Is there life after death?

it has been 12 days. 
why dont i feel any better?
why do i still feel like crying at the drop of a hat? 
why do i feel sick to my stomach every time i hear his name?
why did this happen to me? to my family? to MY baby brother?

12 days ago my baby brother was in a tragic, fatal car accident. 
not even 50 yards from my dads work.
my mother was actually driving by when it happened. 
she saw the emts pull his lifeless body from the car. 

why was it my brother? 
i would gladly, freely, take his place. 
there was so much in this world he had yet to experience, 
and he had so much to offer. 

why couldnt there have been a little more time? 
why did he have to die so fast, so young?
why couldnt they save him? 
why is this happening?
i cant wrap my head around it. 
i cant bring myself to realize that christmas will be quiet, halloween will no longer be exciting, his birthday will just be another day. 

his birthday. 
he was turning 21 in aug. 
i was supposed to buy him his first legal drink.
i am the older sister. 
i am supposed to take him out and spend all night taking of him because he drank too much. 
i am supposed to buy him expensive beers and cheap liquors. 
i am supposed to be his confidant. 
we were supposed to be best buds. 

why is this allowed? 
why does God allow this to happen?

this was  my brothers car. 
the little blue one. 


he hit the giant yukon head on, at at least 45 mph. 
they say he practically died on impact. 
the trama surgeon worked on him for an hour, 
they only got two beats from his heart, 
and God took him away. 

i miss him so much. 




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7 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness Aleks.... I'm so sorry.... how old was he?

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  2. I'm so very sorry for your loss! Such a horrible tragedy.

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  3. May god hold you in his palm at these dark moments in your life. Know He loves you and I truly believe your brother is with Him, watching over you for the rest of your days, preparing heaven for your arrival!

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  4. Aleks,
    I am so sorry - I cannot even imagine the hurt you are feeling. I wish I could come to you and give you a big hug. I don't know what your religion/spritual beliefs have taught you about life after death - but I PROMISE that your brother is happy, and safe, and watching you - thankful you are safe, and happy, and alive. NOTHING can take away your hurt - just know that so many people love and appreciate you - and that God has such a greater plan for him.
    xoxo

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  5. Hey Ali.

    I don't have any of the answers for you. I just hope you know I am always here for you. Keep asking the hard questions. Keep loving your brother. It is okay to be hurt, mad, and confused.

    I'm always just a call or text away.

    <3

    Mari

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  6. omw, i am so very sorry for y'all's lose. i can't imagine the pain that you or your family is going thru, i pray y'all are comforted in your darkest of times.

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  7. I am so so sorry Aleks. Continuing to pray for and think of you and your family. Just sent you an email, by the way...

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Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever; wisdom and power are his.