Winning back my own heart.


I have been feeling stressed to my limits lately. School work. Shop work. House work. 
Why does everything I do end with "work"? I find myself greeting these tasks with disdain. Nobody desires to write three papers a week or lessons plans for classrooms they don't even have yet. Nobody desires to clean their home only after it's reached it's height of messiness. But I need these things. I prayed for these things. I started school with this HUGE desire to be something more than I was. I began my marriage with a HUGE desire to be the "Proverbs 31" wife. I even started my shop with a huge desire to inspire children with imaginative play. Why have all of these things become so ugly to me? Has my heart truly lost all it's desires? 
God has reassured me time and time again that this is MY season. I am exactly where I should be. All of these things I once loved are destroyed by comparison. I am all too often comparing my life, my shop, and even my marriage to those around me. "I need a bigger apartment", "Softies are a ridiculous idea", "My marriage isn't as exciting because we don't go on amazing adventures". These are the destructive thoughts that used to creep into my head, and slowly make their way into my heart. 
This isn't what God has created me for. Those aren't his desires for me. God put the original desires in my heart and I let the enemy take them away. I let him convince me that I was not good enough. But thankfully my God is bigger, and stronger, and forgiving. April is going to be a month of renewing. It will be a month of searching my heart and living closer to Jesus. No comparison, no stress, just love.  

 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11

xoxo
Aleks




5 comments:

  1. I found this so encouraging today! Love your heart

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  2. Wonderfully said! Be you. Be the YOU that God has intended. Follow him and your heart. Ignore outside influences and comparisons. Your story will never be the same as anyone else's.

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  3. I love "no comparison, no stress, just love" I need to be reminded of that too!

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  4. Yes!!! Our God is a powerful and might God! He'll take you where He knows you need to go. Be the woman that when you wake up, Satan says, "Oh dang, she's awake!" Love you friend. You can do all things because of His strength. Don't you forget it!

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  5. I love this! I can so relate. I often get caught up in the comparison game and then find myself with a terrible attitude about the things I once loved and enjoyed! It's all about having the right perspective! Thanks for this reminder :)

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Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever; wisdom and power are his.